Normally, all objects that are linked together need to have the same float ABI. So if you need to use this softfp
only library, i'm afraid you have to compile your own software in softfp
too.
I had the same question about mixing ABIs. See here
Regarding the performance: the performance lost with softfp compared to hardfp is that you will pass (floating point) function parameters through usual registers instead of using FPU registers. This requires some additional copy between registers. As old_timer said it is impossible to evaluate the performance lost. If you have a single huge function with many float operations, the performance will be the same. If you have many small function calls with many floating variables and few operations, the performance will be dramatically slower.